Be Here Now

by Suzanne Northey, M.S. LMFT at Strategies for Success, Chandler location

Are you looking for a way to increase your joy?

Do you want to learn to have greater appreciation for the people in your life?

Do you feel stuck in certain circumstances and can’t seem to find a way to move forward?

Consider this. Maybe the reason for this is that you spend too much of your time living in the past or worried about your future. When you do either of these things, you rob yourself of a lot of happiness.

Why is this true? Because most people, when they think of the past, are focused on memories of when life was better or easier, or they ruminate on an unpleasant situation that does not serve them well in the present. For example, in intimate relationships in which there are difficulties, couples frequently rehash events where they felt wronged by their partner, and this just serves to perpetuate ill feelings. Yes, there is one benefit to exploring past behaviors and that is to learn from those experiences so as to make healthier choices in the present. Beyond that, constant reminders of past hurt just keep negative dynamics alive.

Another why to block joy is to fixate on the future. Wondering about the “what if’s” can be upsetting and create undue stress. The only way a person can impact the future is by making smart and thoughtful decisions in the present. Worrying about it often causes feelings of helplessness and even fear.

Given this, why not make it your intention to “be here now”, to find solutions in the present and to implement plans that result in a more satisfying and fulfilling future. Shifting your thinking may not be easy, especially if it has been a way of being for a long time, but there is no doubt it is worth the effort.

Here’s to creating a happy life.

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